Marry Us, Or Else

"We want to get married in your Church".
"Sorry, you can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you do not meet our standards for marriage."
"You hateful biggot. Your standards don't matter anymore. It's what we say that counts now."
"So you would have us change our standards?"
"Yes."
"So why do you want to be married in this Church? It is our standards that make us what we are."
"Look, if you don't marry us, then we'll destroy you."
"If we change our standards, we will destroy ourselves..."
"We don't care. But we insist that you marry us."
"So, we are destroyed if we hold our to our standards by refusing to marry you, and we are destroyed if we erode the standards that make us what we are. Is that what you seek? "
"Correct. But we want you to marry us first."
"Look, why don't you go create your own Church with your own standards? Get married there, and leave us alone."
"Because then we don't get to destroy your Church. Your Church must be destroyed because it does not agree with us."
"Thank your for your candor. Now we understand what this is all about."