Friday, July 01, 2005

Shaken's Solution for The Insurgency

Seems that Islam has growing backlog of martyr-wannabe's. I say we accomodate the losers as fast as we can.

Before we get to the solution bit, let me give you Shaken's Simple Theory of Islam's Screwedupness:
Because these fanatics don't know how to properly treat women, they don't get enough sex, which in turn, makes them very crazed. This crazed state drives them deeper into Islam's odder corners, resulting in less sex, making them even more crazed. (You see where this is going.)
It's an amazing coincidence that I have a motivation to quickly process Islam's martyr waitlist. (A brief Canadian aside - anyone know if this list exceeds Canada's medical waitlist? just idle curiosity on my part).

Here's today's idea for Being One With Islam (my title for the Islamic martyr-accomodation program): our friends, the US military, leaves a honey-pot stash of ordnance somewhere sufficiently accessible that the insurgents cannot resist grabbing it. Tracking devices within the stashes use military RF-frequencies to report whereabouts of stash. US military assets pay a visit. Stash explodes at most inopportune moment, speeding scores of martyrs into the arms of the virgins they lust for but can never get anywhere near on earth, because they treat their women so poorly.

It's totally whacko, I know - too much time in the sun today. Consider it a heat-induced fantasy. Please resume normal shopping activities.